Have you ever been to heaven at night?

I swear I'm just a shell of my former self, one upside I'm really good at pretending everything is great, so good I almost believe it at times. I just wanna crash and burn, also I wanna act out mayne... my thoughts are in a mess. I feel like manipulating everything >_<!


*sigh* swear it's been a while =/. I'm scared =/

Life Update?

Been a while again, really is hard to keep up with this when soo much is going on around you. You know exams and what not. I guess I should start of first with the fact that I recently broke up with my gf of 1.5 years, 2 weeks ago. I'm doing well all in all, guessing cause I was the one that pulled the plug. I really did care about her, but I never told anyone, not even my dearest friend Nick, but I was pretty sure she didn't "love" me. Kinda weird though that a male would be in that position. I mean come on even after  broke up she tries to force herself to have some sort of feeling on the whole thing, calls me a few days later asking me how I would feel if she got into another relship, so fuck it I cud care less about her now. lol as the song goes "I should have cheated" - Mike Posner <3.

Nothing's really been going on to say the least, just studying a lot and what not. Tryna enjoy single life, tryna get over the temptation of getting to another one rite now. *sigh* She's awesome but damn I am treated kinda badly, but thaat's my faullt alll in all. Plus I will tend to take it a bit harder than I should. Her bday was well Saturday :) all grown up I guess, but sadly I feel I'm getting further and further away from her. Bleh it happens rite, should I reallly care o.O I don't know what to think.... guess I should just focus on my work and being me, the right girl will come my way soon enough, no?.... 

I guess that's all for now, next time peeps, deuces ^_^

Live, Love, Stress?

Why is it that nothing is easy. I know life is not supposed to be easy but is it supposed to be the hard, unappealing and stressful. 


Mock exams are done and well I crammed really hard =/ I probably did arite but never as well as I can, but besides exams and what not.


This past week had been interesting to say the least. Maybe it be not hearing or wanting to hear from my girlfriend to just wanting to be alone. I tried calling her tonight and low and behold no answer, can't blame her, the call was not really going to be pleasant to say the least. I guess this will have to be done another time *sigh*. Whenever I start writing these things I start to regret doing it... much like other things in my life.


On another note Tkeyah ;) hopefullly more about that soon xD deuces

Life Changes

I'm the kind of person who takes friendship seriously, but as time goes on I realise some people just aren't worth it, that's where I decided that the title of best friend should be "amped up". My best friends are my life yo and I love them (no homo). Sadly that never prevents you from falling out with them and being slightly vexed by them. But whatever the case I will always be there for them :D.

Damn I hate this girl though lol. She has never really been....argh I dunno how to say it. *sigh*

Whatever life goes on and that story remains untold. This week has been.... "odd"? Wow I would rather not say it here, but I have no idea what should be going on in my head, I nevr expected myself to do this =/ damn this must sound like I'm babbling nonsensically =/..........anyway imma end this off here and I will update maybe later today......so much more to discuss

:D

Hot and Groovy

Hot and Grovy

Wow where has the time gone, CXC is so close. Sadly I haven't started working just yet, but that will change rite about now, my labs and sba's are all done and I can breathe a little. Talking about that, this week has been really hard =/. I barely slept a wink, may it be from working on my sba, talking on skype and helping out a friend to taking care of my darn cat >_<. It was soo hard and tiresome. Today however was the worst of it; had to fix my sba and at the same time rush down 2 last minute labs *sigh* at least it's over now rite.

Anyway moving away from the topic of work.....recently I have been going through a state of depression? I don't know any other way to describe it. I am just so fed up of the ppl near me who can't seem to understand how things affect me and in turn themselves. I was so frustrated I even broke up with my gf, only to end up getting back with her a while later. Damn it though I really don't know what to do anymore, it sometimes feels as if everything is against me, like when my ipod fell down :@ that really took me out of the game, although after some hard work I managed to buy a new one :) sadly it did not make me feel better about anything, at least yet.

Carnival is here.....sadly I may not be doing anything =/ it all depends..........I have a lot more to say but for now this is it :) have a great one everybody :)

Fous

I need to focus and endure! In things which are as simple as making time to write and share on my blog :).